I looked at the clock and it said 11:43pm. While I still had until 9am the next morning, I felt that I had until midnight. I was pacing back and forth, unsure of what I should do. On one hand, I had a pretty good thing going. On the other, an exciting and uncharted new path that could lead to something so much more fulfilling. But there was also a large amount of uncertainty with this new path. A difficult path, more expectations for not just myself, but from others as well. If I didn’t take it, I feared I would never get another shot. But by taking it, I would have to fully commit. Put all the chips in, and take the biggest risk of my life. I felt sick to my stomach because no option felt right. It was this moment of battling between my heart, my mind, and my gut, all sitting around a metaphorical table having a discussion. It began calm, then it got combative. After the dust settled, the path became clear. There was no other way forward for me besides taking the chance and going for it. So I went for it, and I haven’t looked back ever since.
I think we all experience these moments in life. Those times when we want to shift something, whether that is small or large, and it almost feels daunting to take on, even though it is exciting. And while it may seem like an easy decision once you go down the road a bit, it is terrifying in the moment to take the leap of faith. The reality is that almost everything is a risk, and we all have to decide how much we are willing to take on for our desired outcome. There are many times throughout this journey where I have wanted to give up, do something so much easier, and just make life much less stressful. A lot of my life is filled with a constant anxious stress that is also met with a drive to build something that feels almost inevitable. It is this never ending battle that most entrepreneurs feel, whether they admit to it or not. It is not that I don’t enjoy what I do, that I don’t believe in it, it is just sometimes SO DAMN HARD.
If you were to ask me to go through everything that I have gone through again, I would most certainly decline. However, at the same time, I wouldn’t trade the experience I have had for anything else in the world. You see, over the past three years, I have learned so much about myself and I have pushed far beyond limits that I didn’t think were possible. Every single hurdle that I come up to, especially the ones that seem like the end of the road, I seem to find a way to overcome them. There is a lot of pain, a lot of stress, but a lot of relief when I finally get to the other side. When I get to the next hurdle, which is even bigger, it makes the previous one seem so simple. These are the building blocks that make an entrepreneur capable of building something that lasts. As much as we think it will be smooth sailing, even with the best strategy, it will never go as planned. There is almost something every single day that goes sideways and I have to find a way to adjust to it. That is part of the game and it has actually become one of the weirdly enjoyable parts of what I do. I am a firefighter without a uniform, fire engine, or even one of those awesome poles to slide down. And while I can handle much more than I used to, I had to be willing to make the first scary leap of faith because those moments only keep coming.
I seemed to have always been a risk taker my whole life, to a certain extent. I’ll never forget that one of the scariest moments of my life when I was a kid was when I went cliff jumping on a family vacation. I was about ten years old and there was a cliff about 35ft tall. I was a bit of a daredevil as a kid, I would snow ski almost directly down a hill, without poles, because I loved the sensation of speed. I was the type to get into my pedal car and do donuts in the driveway and ask my mom to wet the driveway so I could slide even more on the plastic tires. There was also this sandhill next to my Grandma’s house that I used to race down as fast as possible (I have a scar to this day). But this cliff seemed scary. I wasn’t sure if the water at the bottom was deep enough (even though it was plenty deep), I wasn’t sure if I would jump out far enough (I needed to clear the first rock that was sticking out), and I wasn’t sure if I would hit the water with a big belly flop. One of my brother’s friends was really afraid of heights, which didn’t make it better. But in order to jump, we had to throw our sandals off the edge so that we could use them to get back up afterwards. I slowly took my sandals off, I paused, and then I threw them off. Now, there was no going back. I could feel my body shaking from the inside out. And I remember thinking to myself, you already decided to make the leap, so just do it. So I readied myself and I jumped. I felt weightless for a moment, like everything was still. It was a beautiful view and one that I will never forget. And then, the speed began to set in, I could hear the whistling begin in my ears, I felt the speed intensify. And then…..I hit the water. It wasn’t painful, it was relieving. I had done it, I had taken what was the biggest risk of my life and I was ok. When I came up to the surface, I looked up, proud. I ended up jumping three more times that day.
Life is about taking leaps. They are opportunities to learn what we are capable of, overcome the limits that we put on ourselves, and to realize our purpose in a way that is felt to the core. The leap doesn’t have to be entrepreneurship. It can be as simple as reaching out to that friend you haven’t talked to in a long time, it can be to try that hobby you always wanted to do. The important part is that you leap. A common thing that I think about is that if I were to pass away tomorrow (yes, a bit morbid), would I have lived today the way that I would have wanted? Would I have spent time with my family, would I have tried my absolute hardest, and would I have felt in my heart that today was meaningful? It doesn’t mean every single day will be extraordinary, but it does mean that every day can be fulfilling. And that is a leap that I will take every day. Otherwise, I will constantly be wondering what if it had been different? What if I didn’t take that leap and that was the moment that could have changed my life? So take the leap, every single day, in everything that you do, to be better. You will be grateful you did. It will be hard, it will be uncertain, but it will be worth it. I promise.