I was driving to the climbing gym, not focused on climbing, but stressing out about the decision that lie in front of me. It was a business problem, a problem that I had never faced before, and I problem that I was certain was unique to me. I was so stressed that I didn’t realize that the weather was beautiful and that I was lucky enough to go climbing in the middle of the day to take a break. I’m one of those people that loves to have music playing at all times, especially when driving. But this time, it was dead silent in the car. The sound of road noise and panicked breathing was the only thing that I could hear. I finally park in my usual parking space, a moment of stillness coupled with an overwhelming feeling of lonliness. I think of friends that I could call, but nobody would understand. This is typical of the entrepreneurial journey. Alas, there was one person that I could call. He’s the one person who has always pointed me in the right direction, always offered advice in the most simple way, and encouraged me to trust my instincts.
I get out of the car and I give him a call. He answers, something that I am always grateful for considering how busy he is as a person. I ask how he is doing and he answers with the phrase that I would probably say is uniquely his, “I’m doing super fantastic!” No matter what was happening, this was always the answer. I am one of those people that likes to walk and talk and I usually find myself pacing back and forth, looking like a crazy person going around in circles. I explain what is going on, trying to be as calm as possible as if “nothing is going super wrong just trying to figure this out.” A few more questions are asked and I break. “I don’t know what to do and I feel like there is no right answer.” Silence on the other side for what I felt to be an eternity. A slight chuckle and I hear “Oh yeah, I’ve had this happen many times before, this is nothing new. This is just the first time that you have experienced it.” But there was still this postivity in his voice, as if it was a good thing. In the moment, it was anything but that. However, something about the way it was said put me at ease. But rather than giving me the answer (that isn’t his style), he reassured me that I already know what I want to do, and that I just have to face it and make a decision. It’s never the answer one wants to hear when they ask for advice, but it is the best advice that one can receive. He asks me to let him know how it goes and we hang up. I walk into the gym to begin climbing. For the next hour, I process everything. The clarity begins to increase, the confidence returns, and by the time I am done climbing, I feel completely different than when I walked through the door. A truly transformative conversation and sound advice from somebody that is my most trusted mentor, but an even closer friend.
So why did I share this story? I’ve been reflecting a lot upon my journey as an entrepreneur lately. Even as I write this, I still am uncomfortable with the word “entrepreneur.” I’ve never really aligned with that title at all. I am just somebody who is working on solving a problem and trying to get others to jump on board to try to solve it together. At the root of all of this, I believe that my purpose in life is to help others in any way that I can and to inspire others to pursue what they believe to be their calling in life. When I look at my journey up to this point, I have been able to accomplish a lot of what I set out to do, despite knowing that I still have a long way to go. But I also recognize that all of this was possible because of one specific person guiding me. For anybody that is looking to pursue something, and let’s call it entrepreneurship, it will be a lonely journey of uncertainty. I often say that there is a certain type of person meant for this type of work and part of it is learning to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. It is still something I am learning to be comfortable with, if I’m honest. And one of the biggest things that helped me get through it all was mentorship. Mentors that have taken me under their wings, offered advice, allowed me to walk the path and make mistakes, and care for me as a person, not just what I am pursuing. I’ve mentioned this before in a post that we never make it alone, but this is more specific to mentorship.
A mentor is not a person who you pay because that is a consultant. They are not people that do the work for you. A mentor is a person that listens, offers simple advice, and sends you on your way. And it always comes from a place of authenticity and care. That doesn’t mean that it is always nice, but it is exactly what you need to hear. Over the years, I have wanted to repay my mentors in any way that I can. I’ve been so grateful for all the time and guidance that I am compelled to do something in return, despite it not being an expectation. But what can I give that they don’t already have? After all, this isn’t about money. A few years ago, it hit me. It is simply passing on the same thing to others. I have been walking my own path for some time now, and while I still have a long way to walk, I have learned a lot of valuable lessons along the way. The best that I can do is to offer myself to others as a mentor. I’ve been lucky enough to unofficially mentor a few people. Designers, filmmakers, entrepreneurs, or just a friend looking to find what they want to pursue in life to find fulfillment. In every one of these cases, I didn’t have the answer and I didn’t have a guidebook. But what I did have was the desire to help and the realization while listening that “I’ve been there before.” The best I can do is not even share what I did, but offer a slight bit of guidance as to what door to open or what path to walk down to find the answer. Little did I know at the time, I was doing exactly what my mentor did for me. And in each case, I didn’t want anything in return. I didn’t want shares, I didn’t want money, I didn’t want a gift card. I simply wanted to see each and every one of them achieve the goal that they were pursuing. And if at the end of it they mentor somebody else, well, the world becomes a much more beautiful place.
If you have a mentor in your life, a thank you goes a long ways. If you don’t have a mentor, search for one. Mentors come in all shapes and forms. But I will say that asking for somebody to mentor you, especially with an explanation of why you want to learn from them, is one of the most important things that anybody can do. To those that I have mentored, it is truly a pleasure and I look forward to our next conversation.
To Andy, thank you for everything. I wouldn’t be here without you.