I think we all believe that change is a good thing. But, it very much depends on what you define as change. It’s often easier to see change happening to anybody besides us. We only want a change when we feel we “need” one, right? But where does that mindset come from? Why is it that we only decide to change when we feel it is most necessary? It’s because it ultimately has to be a choice for us to change. No outside force can make change that will last. I equate it to that time that I went to camp when I was a kid and I learned a few new habits that I wanted to keep. It would stick for a few weeks, then I would go back to how I was living my life. The most profitable time for people to change is January 1st. Now I say profitable because it is a massive opportunity for people to “reinvent” themselves with a new number on the calendar. But why not make a change in February? Or what about October? The best time to change is the present, because every moment is a choice.
A lot of my life, I have lived with the focus being on the future. When I was young, I wanted to grow a beard so I can shave like my dad did. I liked the idea of working a job and couldn’t wait to be done with school. My parents got me this job when I was probably too young to work as a person who scrubbed rust off of old golf clubs for this old guy that owned a golf shop in my home town. I sat in the back room, day after day, just scrubbing old clubs so they could be resold. I got paid in old golf balls and good lesson in hard work. Who knows, maybe I actually made some money too, but I don’t really remember that part. I just remember how the owner and I would talk golf while I scrubbed golf clubs. I thought being older was so cool. As I got older, I continued to work for people that would teach me so much. No experience was the same but each had not only its memories, but taught me a lot about the business world. Naturally, I always wanted to be older than I was at the time. But what I didn’t realize is that I was missing the whole point: it was something to look forward to, not something to solely focus on.
This thought process of living for the future sent me down a path of constant change. I always wanted to be doing something to improve on my current state to get to a future state that I was too young for at the time. It helped in a lot of ways because I was the young person, enthusiastic, ready to take on anything that was thrown at me. As a result, not many moments in my life were met with a state of calm. I operated, and still do quite a bit of the time, at a pace that I would consider to be “uncomfortable.” But it is really all that I know because I had the mindset that if I wanted to reach that future state, I would have to continue to put myself in uncomfortable situations in order to progress. While I don’t regret the effort, it took away from some of the deep lessons to be learned along the way. When we pause, we are able to reflect on the decisions that we made, how they can improve, and allow it to sink into the subconscious mind, similar to a memory that you will never forget. That, which took me way too long to realize, is what they refer to as wisdom.
Wisdom, I believe, is rooted deeply in experiencing as much as possible as often as possible throughout our lives. Our experiences are the things that shape us into who we are, what we believe in, and what we care deeply about. Every experience that we have, especially one that is new, is an opportunity to change. And this is where I think people misinterpret the idea of change. When we think of change, whether that be that New Year’s change or the midyear change, it usually comes with this thought of a major shift. But even a small interaction can be an opportunity for change. It could be a change in a point of view, the feeling towards somebody, or simply the decision to read one more page of the book. So while the big shift may be appealing, it is very difficult to sustain unless it is extremely meaningful, and meaningful for the right reasons.
Behind every decision to change there is a “why.” Why turn the page one more time? Why swim that extra mile? The answer to why is different for everybody. But that single driver is what allows something to stick, versus to be something that was done for a short period of time. The power of this why also has to be significant. Whenever you hear of the greatest people in history, it is often said that they felt they didn’t have another choice but to pursue what they eventually achieved. There was literally no other option in their mind. That is a pretty powerful why. But the other thing that those people don’t usually talk about is all of the experiences that led to that eventual realization of what they truly wanted to pursue. There was a lot of experience, a lot of failure, and the knowledge that doing nothing was worse than changing. As people, I think that we all experience those moments in life, whether we want to admit them or not. It can be challenging to explore it. It’s almost that jump off the cliff moment. But that why, as scary as it is, drives every decision that follows and also makes things clear that change is ultimately in our own hands.
I believe that we all of the choice to make a change at any point in life, the transition from the old to the new just might take longer than expected. If you have always wanted to leave that job, you may not be able to leave immediately but making changes to position yourself to eventually leave is better than being stagnant. If you have always wanted to run to the top of a mountain, go for a run today just up the street. The key is just to decide to do it. But the other, often not talked about key, is to enjoy the experience. If you just fast forward to the top of the mountain, it won’t be as rewarding as thought in your head on day one of training. Because when you harness a goal, when you find the why to pursue, there is a superpower that goes through your body, moving you to action. That is change in the subconscious form. And once that is felt, you can’t go back to the way things were. Change is inevitable because our experience, our planet, and our lives are constantly changing. So make a change, just because it’s a Tuesday. It doesn’t have to be a big change, but become more comfortable with the uncomfortable. After a few weeks, change won’t be as difficult as it seemed at the beginning.